I’ve been thinking about this — I want to live life to the fullest (isn’t that the promise of Jesus?). But, I have to get along with others as well — you know, the live in community bit. And so, I wonder “At what point do I decide that a situation or a relationship that isn’t bad, just OK, is OK?”
Last night we had a mass for 3 deceased loved ones of some of the members of our local Cursillo community. It was at the larger of the 2 Catholic Churches in the area. I am a parishioner at the other. The music was borderline passable – they stuck a list of songs under my nose at the last minute, and said “can you lead these?” – Had I known ahead of time, I could have brought my guitar and done a very presentable job of it. The homily was pleasant – nothing to argue with. But, as nice as the pastor is, he just doesn’t get under my skin like our pastor. He didn’t get my attention. I had to work hard to find something I could use. He wasn’t bad. I just wanted a bit more “meat” as it were. A bit of something that I could take home and try to live.
And so I sat there, listening carefully. It dawned on me that I have grown to the point where I could go back to that parish if it were the only alternative. I wouldn’t find it easy to feel well fed, but I wouldn’t be totally starved either. It would be ok. Why is this growth? Because of past events, there was a period of a couple of years where I couldn’t force myself inside the doors. But that’s for another time.
And so it goes. I’m still trying to discern some other situations and relationships where I have to decide that the compromise is OK. From where I sit, it doesn’t look like it will get much better. But, it’s not so bad that I have to avoid it. Or, are there cases where I have to dust off my sandals, and launch out in a new direction?
Sometimes it causes me to wish for more clarity. But for now – OK is OK.