by Liz | Jan 24, 2010 | main
Time flies by and I fail to take the time to post. But, it’s raining, and I have just completed the formation weekend for the Women’s Cursillo to be held in March at Holy Trinity. And, I’ve had to take time to think and write, as I am giving a rollo (talk) on Action – apostolic action.
These talks present me with problems at times. I find myself on a different page of the book than the outline for the talk seems to come from. This time wasn’t so tough as the other talk I gave a few years ago. But, still — it pushes my comfort zone edges to do this. And, that is a fine thing to do.
Of late, I’ve taking actions that force me out of the comfort zone. I’ve put in the paper work to retire from the University, effective April 1. Now, that is stepping out of a zone that is familiar, if not always comfortable. After more than 25 years it will be quite a change. One that evokes both excitement and anxiety. I can set my own schedule. I can take on projects that I want. I can be free to visit my children and grandchildren. How will I keep myself from turning into a bon-bon eating couch potato? Can I find enough contract work to fill the gap between my current salary and my retirement “pension”? I look forward to the chance and the change. I fear that I will make a miserable mess of the whole thing.
That said, preparing the talk on action seems opportune. The Holy Spirit seems to know her business quite well. I am forced to wrap words around ideas. I am called to action, as it were. What I hear in my quiet time with God, what I learn from my reading and study, I must turn into action. If I sit with God, if I am present in my relationship with Jesus, then I must reflect what I learn, what I know, in my daily walk. Reaching out to others. Listening to those who need an ear. Allocating a part of my income to help a friend who is struggling and coming up with a whole lot more month than money. Sharing of myself to draw others in to prayer when I lead music at mass. Continuing to do my best at a job where I am truly a lame duck.
Stepping out of the comfort zone is scary — and invigorating. And, a call to action.
by Liz | Dec 31, 2009 | main
I didn’t write yesterday because there might have been tears in my keyboard had I tried in the morning. Nothing so major in the grand scheme of things, I know. But, disappointment doesn’t always listen to reason.
We had thought that our granddaughters would be spending New Years with us. Yes, we saw them three weeks ago at the wedding. That was such fun despite the fact that there were so many people around that there wasn’t a lot on one-on-one time. I understood completely that it made a lot more sense not to put 2 preschoolers in the car for 9 hours to drive up to see us. Especially since they had only gotten in from a trip north to visit other family the day before. I understood and agreed. Really. I mean, I did. Really.
Still, the tears welled up. I came face to face with just how much I miss seeing them. Eight hours away is just too far, IMHO. They are growing up so fast. Yes – they are still young – 3 and 17 months. But, between times, they grow up so much.
The new year is beginning in a couple of hours… not exactly a resolution, but more a hope and a plan: to spend more time with them. To take the time to do it now. To be in the present. And to have that present include those I love most.
by Liz | Dec 26, 2009 | main
The priest at Christmas Eve mass struck a chord with me. He began by reflecting on the first men on the moon — seeing the earth “as it really is” from a distance. He spoke about them looking back at earth and seeing it as a distant, beautiful blue and green globe. He progressed to Bette Midler’s “From a Distance” with God watching us from a distance. The good in this view is that we can see that we are all so very alike — all so very human. But, he and I agree – Christmas proclaims a very different reality. God is with us. God is not watching from a distance.
God may very well be able to step back and get some distance. We humans all need to do that at times… get some distance. But, the reality is that God is with us. God is in the midst of the messiness of our lives. God is present in birth and death and every experience in between. God is present in the joy of a new child, the frustration of a father who is struggling to make a decent life for that child and in an inn keeper who is out of resources and doesn’t have room. God is so very present that he took on our flesh, walked in our bones, felt all of our emotions, loved up close.
Christmas reminds me of this. If God loves me enough to take on my form of existence and walk with me, then I am called to do the same with others — and not stay at a distance. That’s not really what I think of as easy — I do separate myself. I am unwilling to share all too often even with those I am physically close to.
Little Child — help me to be willing to live not at a distance from You or our brothers and sisters.
Oh – and Merry Christmas!
by Liz | Dec 22, 2009 | main
The house is filled with smell of my cornbread dressing and my husbands pork dressing. It’s cooking day. We always have to have both the Southern and the French Canadian dressings. Is that a battle or a melding of cultures?
Through the years we’ve settled on certain things that have become our family traditions. Christmas Mass. Family gatherings. And, we must have both cornbread and pork dressings. If I have leftover turkey (a problem this year since we won’t be doing Christmas in our house) the leftovers from the pork dressing and turkey must be turned into pie. We’ve been through “traditional” roasted turkey, smoked turkey and deep-fried turkey – so that one is open for discussion even after 33 years… but it’s turkey – not pork roast, or beef roast. It may include duck — but only as an adjunct to turkey. I’ll miss having leftover turkey of my own. Something is missing.
As I think of Christmas, it becomes clear that Christmas is a joining of many things. The joining of God with humanity in the form of the Christ child. The joining of the Deep South with New England. And this year, with a new daughter in law, the joining of more families. And any piece that goes missing is just that: a small hole in the fabric of the season. Even if it’s just the missing leftover turkey.
by Liz | Dec 19, 2009 | main
As a church music minister/director, I suppose I’m going to have to deal with this new translation of the Roman Missal (for English) at some point. I’ve thus far kept my head in the sand, ostrich style — and hoped that the day of reckoning won’t happen or at least wait a good long time. But, today, I read up a bit on this.
Yuck!
OK — I see that some folks want to make mass and the Catholic religion more mysterious, more awesome, more magical. One thing that this makes me suspect is that these folks are hungry to experience the powerful, wonderful, awesome presence of God. Amen! But, it also seems to me, that while large, beautiful, magical churches and liturgy and evoke a sense of the power of God’s presence, it is even more powerful, awesome and enduring to experience the presence of God in my own heart and mind. In prayer — in quiet, open, honest prayer. Maybe this prayer is communal, but maybe it is that which is practiced individually on a regular basis. As when Elijah finally experienced God in the gentle, quiet after the storm, after the earthquake.
And so, I am not one who will rush toward these changes. I will probably run from them. I can always pray that somehow this foolishness is at least moderated somewhat…
But, most of all, I do ask God to continue to be present to me, no matter what.
