The little things

Mama left us 2 weeks ago. She died about 6:45am on 24 May. That day and the ones immediately following were filled with handling the details such as talking with funeral homes (yes plural since she was buried “back home” which is almost 5 hours away), talking with the priest, contacting family, etc. One moves on autopilot and mostly manages to avoid feeling for a couple of days.

Today, we took 3 of our granddaughters to Callaway Gardens. As I grabbed a straw for my drink at lunch I noticed it was a bendy straw. That’s what I kept a stash of in my purse for my mother and my grandson, Henry. I won’t need those straws as often nowadays… a small wave of sadness washed over me.

After lunch we visited the butterfly house. As I was Genevieve wander around, trying to get pictures another wave rolled over. Just two springs ago my daughter and I put Genevieve (then almost 5) and baby Henry, and Mama in the car and made a trip to Callaway where I had a wonderful time¬†with a 5 year old and an 85 year old fascinated by the butterflies… both wanted me to print pictures of the butterflies for them after the trip. Another sad smile — wonderful memory. I miss her.

Last week at the beach I looked at the walls in the bedroom at the condo and remembered that Mama had loved the color so much that she went home and had her bedroom at home painted the same color.

I wear the ring she gave me — a combination of 2 rings: one from my father and a fancy ring guard from my step-father. She told me she hoped I would enjoy it as much as she had. Another reminder…

It’s bittersweet. I wouldn’t trade these things for the world.