by Liz | Jun 5, 2008 | main
A couple of weeks ago, I thought I probably overdid the weight on a certain exercise at the gym and it seemed for several days that I had strained an exterior oblique. Pain. It takes a pretty strong dose of over-the-counter stuff to make it quit hurting. Then there was itching, and the skin got really sensitive, and a puffy rash appeared. It dawned on me, “Maybe it’s not just a pulled muscle.” Turns out I was right – it was shingles.
Why am I thinking about this (other than the ever present discomfort for nearly 2 weeks)? I was feeling really whimpy about complaining about this pain in light of what some of my friends are enduring, when a friend observed – “just because someone else has more pain doesn’t really diminish your pain.” Ah – I’m back at pushing my own feelings aside because I don’t deem them to be of the same caliber as someone else’s feelings. Funny how just acknowledging that makes it easier to deal with. It makes it possible to try to do something to help correct my own issue, so I can be available to be present for someone else’s needs.
As for the shingles, I got to the doc (I needed some pain relief) before they really fully broke out. Got a diagnosis and an antiviral prescription. It took nearly a week for the pain to stop, but in my checking around, this seems to have been a very quick recovery. There’s a lesson there somewhere. It seems that I had to pay attention to my own pain and seek healing so that I could get back to a place of being able to help others cope with their pain.
I’m glad to be over that pain.
by Liz | May 22, 2008 | main
I was reading Susan’s musings over at Creo en Dios! and pondering her thoughts on The First Shall Be Last. I have to agree — so often I find myself giving over to someone else’s needs and not listening to myself. The upshot is that I finally am so depleted, so angry, so tired, that there is no way I can put someone or something else before me. There’s no energy left.
To me, it seems that there are ways of being first and last that work better than others. If my goal is to be able to serve others, then I have a responsibility to stay healthy enough to do that. Otherwise, I fail at the primary goal of serving others or just being a good steward of my own resources.
I had a talk with someone last week where I rather felt that I was being selfish when I started it. I owned up to some hurt feelings, which uncovered some other deep-seated anger. But afterward, the air was more clear, and I think we came to understand each other a bit better. I was much more at peace which made it possible for me to hear the other person a bit more clearly without the roar of anger in my ears.
Sad to say, I more often fail to honor my own feelings as I try to make things ok for the other which makes for an un-pretty scene. The second of Jesus’ commandments is to love your neighbor as yourself. If I can’t love myself, how can I possibly know how to love my neighbor?
by Liz | May 10, 2008 | main
Funny what comments will cause you to stop and ponder. My sister built an apartment on to her house for my mother to live in. It has its own entrance, a full kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom – and a full 2 car garage. With wedding celebrations going on this weekend a lot of time has been spent on the deck that sits between the main house and the apartment.
What does that have to do with garage 1 and garage A? In trying to explain where sodas/bottled water were living, we were trying to describe which garage to go into. My husband suggested designating them as garage 1 and garage A. That way no one would be insulted by the implication that one garage was 1 and other a subservient 2 ( or A and subservient B).
Which led me to thinking about the wisdom of this idea with respect to a lot of things: people are different, not necessarily primary and secondary. The same with a lot of ideas and approaches to life and faith and love. It offers a certainly validity to both sides of a lot of situations. 1 and A. Not bad.
