Comme çi, comme ça

Can’t decide what is most in my mind today… making note of how my latest pass at following the South Beach diet is going, or making note of the the connectedness of all of creation. I think I’ll indulge myself and begin with the former.

This is day 1 of week 2 of Phase One of South Beach. That’s the stage that gets well and truly BORING – lean meat, veggies (but no carrots or sweet potatoes), no fruit, no bread or other starchy items. No Sugar. Lots of lowfat cheese, lots of eggs. And, of course, I seem to be losing less than hoped in this initial stage. Drat!

With that out of the way, I’m remembering the joys of “eating right.” When I’m noticing that I’m hungry, I am. Not the crashy, GOT TO EAT NOW AND FAST hungry, but still hungry. Most of the sensation of an overfull abdomen is gone. I sat on the bed last night to watch my 2 Sunday shows and discovered that I could do so without pain – without reflux. Joy!

And this morning in Zumba, I found myself doing far more of the jumping jack type moves, more hops, more of everything. Woohoo! The goal of having the jeans get looser is accompanied by the desire to do all of the Zumba class without pause and to enjoy it even more than I do now. It’s coming along slowly.

To get to the heart of it all, I’m looking at this as a way to facilitate ditching that extra layer of protection I carry around almost like another person. Gotta get rid of that. Gotta be just me. It is all a part of that Journey to Myself that I am on. It’s a part of finding the “me” that exists whether I work at the library or work from home or don’t even work at all. It a part of finding the “me” that is the same whether I’m daughter or sister or mother or grandmother. It’s learning to listen to the quiet, still voice that assures me that the person hiding in here is loved without having to earn it — and being willing to let her out.

I’ve been at this part of the spiral before… it seems good to find myself at this part of the circular path once more only a bit closer to the center.

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