by Liz | Jan 19, 2009 | main
I found this in my drafts — guess I forgot to hit publish… or maybe it was too close to my heart when I wrote it.
A couple of years ago, my newly married daughter and her husband apparently had an interaction that overflowed to Mom. He comes from a family where he was constantly, verbally told that he was precious and loved. She, however, it seems, did not. To be honest, when she said to me “I’ve never heard you or Dad say ‘I love you’ ” my world crashed around me. The sky fell.
After a bit of discussion (when I found my voice), she admitted that maybe I had told her that I love her when she was growing up – but she didn’t give ground on her dad. And, I made a change. In the 2 or so years since that conversation (it was a phone call), I’ve tried to never end a call with her, or her brothers, or my mom, without actually saying “I love you.” I’ve even tried it with my husband. It’s a good practice to get into — and in most of those cases, the practice now goes both ways. Hallelujah!
Actions are important, but words matter as well.
by Liz | Jan 19, 2009 | main
So, I open Today’s Readings in gmail and notice that all of the ads are for Bridesmaid gifts and wedding books, etc. It’s a hint – today’s gospel contains the quote from Jesus “Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them they cannot fast. But the days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast on that day…”
How many times to we only pick up on certain words and not get the entire meaning? I do hope to have a better algorithm for understanding than google/gmail…
by Liz | Jan 3, 2009 | main
A few days ago, Susan (Creo en Dios!) posted about forgiveness and made a reference to “The Shack.”
I just knew that this post was coming from “The Shack” – from the first sentence…
…God tries to get him to understand reconciliation. God says, “There has never been a question that what I wanted from the beginning I will get. …Honey, you asked me what Jesus accomplished on the cross; so now listen to me carefully: through his death and resurrection, I am now fully reconciled to the world. … The whole world, Mack. All I’m telling you is that reconciliation is a two way street, and I have done my part, totally, completely, finally.â€
In the referenced interchange between Mack and God there is also a lesson for us about the business of our forgiving others. We are called to forgive, but we are also called to forgive without demanding that the other person acknowledge our forgiveness. Not easy. It doesn’t quite feel completed at this point.
When I finally forgive I really want that other person to acknowledge what [a wonderful thing] I have done. I may not actually desire a full relationship with the other person (another way I fall short of the ultimate example), but, by-golly, I want some credit!
Instead, I find that it must be enough for me to forgive. I believe I have mentioned before a penance I had once that required that when I sang or played in mass that it be offered as a prayer for those I felt were persecuting me (and those folks were very often in the congregation at the time). 7 months I did this. Seven months! Until the day that I listened to one of them (a priest) offer a homily. I listened and was overwhelmed with a sense that he was saying the right words, and utterly clueless about what they might mean. The topic was reconciliation/confession. Instead of being angry with him (my usual response) I had an overwhelming sense of sadness for him and what he was missing. Sorrow. I knew I was done. I knew I had forgiven beyond my human ability.
There is still no reconciliation — and never any acknowledgment that I had anything to forgive. But that is not the issue here. Later in the book, God explains “Forgiveness is not about forgetting, Mack. It’s about letting go of another person’s throat.” And, that is often about as far as I can get.
by Liz | Jan 1, 2009 | main
New Year’s Day brings the feast of Mary, Mother of God — and a world day of prayer for peace. They seem interlinked to me: to give birth to Christ is the greatest prayer for peace. It’s a call — to give birth to Christ every day in every circumstance — that all Christians are called to.
Not that I succeed very often. Or at least, I don’t often see my success if it is there. That’s where Mary speaks to me. Somehow she accepted that God doesn’t give us the syllabus for this class called LIFE 101. Sometimes I want that syllabus instead of the requirement that I simply show up and pay attention day after day. She understood that the course work was the day to day relationship with the teacher, not the study and scheduled tests that can be dealt with and then forgotten.
And so, as I decide whether to make resolutions that I will no doubt fail to keep this year, one thing comes to mind: Be Present. As a Catholic, I often find myself repeating the words of the Hail Mary:
Hail Mary, full of Grace
The Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women
And blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death
Amen
The first part is pure scripture, the second seeks prayerful support in the two times in our life that are certain: the present (NOW) and at the hour of death (which everyone will face). I will face Now. I will be Present in the moment, which is always. That’s a difficult challenge for someone like me that often wants to curl up in the back corner of a safe closet and let life pass on by. Today, I am reminded that someone is always praying for me Now — even if I’m curled up “safe.” Today, I am reminded that Now is truly all I have, for it will always be Now.
2009 – the Year of Now.
by Liz | Dec 29, 2008 | main
Fr. Jack got distracted by the readings, and wound up giving the homily I needed. He used the Hebrews reading which ends this way:
By faith Abraham, when put to the test, offered up Isaac,
and he who had received the promises was ready to offer
his only son,
of whom it was said,
“Through Isaac descendants shall bear your name.â€
He reasoned that God was able to raise even from the dead,
and he received Isaac back as a symbol.
(Hebrews 11:17-19)
That last verse caught him and he decided to reflect on just what Isaac was a symbol of… and after wandering through his thoughts, he came up with the thought that the symbol here referred to faith in the Giver, not based on the visible result. I’m not sure how he got there, and we didn’t record the homily. It seems that faith at one level relies on “results.” Like “I ask for this and it is granted.” Request -> Result. But Abraham went a step further by his willingness to do something whereby the desired result seemed impossible: to offer his son, the only visible way to fullfuill the promise that his descendants would number as many as the stars.
I sometimes do petition God — but, I have discovered it to be generally a better method to lay a situation in front of God and ask Her to be present. The outcome seems to work out best — often not the way I would have invisioned it – better… sometimes more painful, sometimes more joyful.
And so, when I found myself very disappointed yesterday, the homily rushed in on me — I’m still disappointed, but I rest in faith that whatever happens, it will be for the best in the long run.
Amen.
