by Liz | Jun 7, 2008 | main
Last weeks (Sunday: Mt 7:21-27) gospel spoke to me at more than a couple of levels. First, it was the gospel reading that my daughter and her husband chose for their wedding. As I watch them walk together (they’ve been married about 2 1/2 years now), I truly get the vision of a house built on the rock. And that gives me a certain peace. Times will surely be rough for them at times, and times will certainly be great. I believe they walk on solid ground.
However, Jesus’ words give me pause. Listen to the first part:
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’
will enter the kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.
Many will say to me on that day,
‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name?
Did we not drive out demons in your name?
Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’
Then I will declare to them solemnly,
‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.’
Obviously, there’s more to this salvation thing than just doing good deeds. It seems that I must do the goods deeds that I personally am called to do. Not just those things that I think might be useful, but those things that I personally am called to do. And to understand what that might be, I have to pay attention and take the time to know the Lord and listen.
I recall reading Thomas Merton’s words:
THE FACT THAT I THINK that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
When I’m unsure, I can remember these words and hear that they ring true for me. This journey is not so much about following a set of rules, but responding to the person of Jesus. That’s what I hear in this gospel reading – what He’s asking is to know him and follow.
Jack’s illustration was that of a child who is told “Clean your room.” Instead, the kid decides to wash the dishes and expects praise for doing so. He/She is not likely to get that great pat on the back for doing a “good deed” of washing the dishes, because what Mom asked for was to “clean your room.”
How many times do we do that? With God and with each other. How many times does my husband say “I need you to post your checks in the check book” and I respond by sweeping the floor, or cooking dinner. Both are good things that need to be done by someone. But they aren’t what he asked for.
I’ll have to sit with all this for a while. My first step was to come home from church and post those checks – without being asked again (and again). It’s a small step. But it is a step.
by Liz | Jun 5, 2008 | main
A couple of weeks ago, I thought I probably overdid the weight on a certain exercise at the gym and it seemed for several days that I had strained an exterior oblique. Pain. It takes a pretty strong dose of over-the-counter stuff to make it quit hurting. Then there was itching, and the skin got really sensitive, and a puffy rash appeared. It dawned on me, “Maybe it’s not just a pulled muscle.” Turns out I was right – it was shingles.
Why am I thinking about this (other than the ever present discomfort for nearly 2 weeks)? I was feeling really whimpy about complaining about this pain in light of what some of my friends are enduring, when a friend observed – “just because someone else has more pain doesn’t really diminish your pain.” Ah – I’m back at pushing my own feelings aside because I don’t deem them to be of the same caliber as someone else’s feelings. Funny how just acknowledging that makes it easier to deal with. It makes it possible to try to do something to help correct my own issue, so I can be available to be present for someone else’s needs.
As for the shingles, I got to the doc (I needed some pain relief) before they really fully broke out. Got a diagnosis and an antiviral prescription. It took nearly a week for the pain to stop, but in my checking around, this seems to have been a very quick recovery. There’s a lesson there somewhere. It seems that I had to pay attention to my own pain and seek healing so that I could get back to a place of being able to help others cope with their pain.
I’m glad to be over that pain.
by Liz | Jun 4, 2008 | main
I am often amazed at how life works out. Sometimes, it’s just that you know that a lot of pieces are coming together in a way that indicates that there is a higher power running the show. One example is how I came to be involved in FAMVIN through what seemed almost a chance meeting on the internet. FAMVIN didn’t even exist at that time, and now I’m in up to my eyeballs, and I met some of my best friends through the process. Who knew? (Well, I’m inclined to think Someone knew.)
Another might well be the circumstances that ended up in my leaving on parish and moving to another. I’ve written about that before when I tried to transcribe a witness talk I gave for an Ultreya meeting a few years ago. It was an occasion of losing my parish and finding my church.
And now I have a sense that it’s happening again. A young Ugandan priest who thought he would be going to Chicago this summer finds himself here in east Alabama. True, he’d like to raise some funds, but more importantly he shares himself, his dreams and his faith. He is on fire in a rather quiet, but intense way. He has a vision of way to try to help his country now and in the future. He realizes that he is here, in this place, for a reason and he gracefully and joyfully tries to understand this American culture and share his own. It’s even more amazing to me that a part of the way he got to this spot was an email contact with a young man in a nearby city who happens to be a good friend of my son-in-law.
So, I watch the Spirit breathe on us. I try to see what, if anything, I am called to do in response. This world is so much more than it seems on the surface and I’m looking forward to seeing what the future will bring. And I’ll keep Fr. Michael on my prayer list.
by Liz | Jun 1, 2008 | main
I love my deck. When we rebuilt the house after a fire 8 years ago, we changed a window in our bedroom into a door to the backyard and added the deck. It’s a good size – 20×20 or so, with benches on two sides, and a sort of table in the corner where St. Francis lives. The trees, a maple, an oak, a pine and some crepe myrtles offer shade as they creep into the space around the edges. In the mornings, especially this time of year, it’s not exactly a quiet peace due to the sounds of birds that inhabit the various trees in our yard and the neighbors. But, it’s a deeply peaceful place.
How lucky I am to have this space to step into. I seem to be the only person who really uses it. I can sit on the bench and listen to creation all around me. I can see the day lilies, the gardenias, the azaleas, the iris and the camelias which all bloom at slightly different times.
My friend John might refer to this spot as my “flee to.” Yeah… everybody needs a “flee to.” A place to go and just get away. A place that calls one to prayer. A place that shouts “Welcome! You belong here!”
I love my deck.
by Liz | May 30, 2008 | main
I was poking around on Susan’s blog rereading her post on an attitude of gratitude – or being grateful for the little things. I’ve tried to cultivate that attitude. And in the past few days I’ve been grateful for some “little things” that aren’t so little. These are the phone calls to check with me about how I’m doing with something that has caused me anxiety. Just quick chats to let me know that somebody cares, that someone is praying, that someone just wants to let me know that they are there.
These things might seem like small things. But when I acknowledge them, and give thanks for them, they grow and they make a change in me. It’s kind of funny – it’s not just the gift, it’s the receiving as well.
Hmmm… now to go out and practice being grateful.
