by Liz | Jan 3, 2009 | main
A few days ago, Susan (Creo en Dios!) posted about forgiveness and made a reference to “The Shack.”
I just knew that this post was coming from “The Shack” – from the first sentence…
…God tries to get him to understand reconciliation. God says, “There has never been a question that what I wanted from the beginning I will get. …Honey, you asked me what Jesus accomplished on the cross; so now listen to me carefully: through his death and resurrection, I am now fully reconciled to the world. … The whole world, Mack. All I’m telling you is that reconciliation is a two way street, and I have done my part, totally, completely, finally.â€
In the referenced interchange between Mack and God there is also a lesson for us about the business of our forgiving others. We are called to forgive, but we are also called to forgive without demanding that the other person acknowledge our forgiveness. Not easy. It doesn’t quite feel completed at this point.
When I finally forgive I really want that other person to acknowledge what [a wonderful thing] I have done. I may not actually desire a full relationship with the other person (another way I fall short of the ultimate example), but, by-golly, I want some credit!
Instead, I find that it must be enough for me to forgive. I believe I have mentioned before a penance I had once that required that when I sang or played in mass that it be offered as a prayer for those I felt were persecuting me (and those folks were very often in the congregation at the time). 7 months I did this. Seven months! Until the day that I listened to one of them (a priest) offer a homily. I listened and was overwhelmed with a sense that he was saying the right words, and utterly clueless about what they might mean. The topic was reconciliation/confession. Instead of being angry with him (my usual response) I had an overwhelming sense of sadness for him and what he was missing. Sorrow. I knew I was done. I knew I had forgiven beyond my human ability.
There is still no reconciliation — and never any acknowledgment that I had anything to forgive. But that is not the issue here. Later in the book, God explains “Forgiveness is not about forgetting, Mack. It’s about letting go of another person’s throat.” And, that is often about as far as I can get.
by Liz | Jan 1, 2009 | main
New Year’s Day brings the feast of Mary, Mother of God — and a world day of prayer for peace. They seem interlinked to me: to give birth to Christ is the greatest prayer for peace. It’s a call — to give birth to Christ every day in every circumstance — that all Christians are called to.
Not that I succeed very often. Or at least, I don’t often see my success if it is there. That’s where Mary speaks to me. Somehow she accepted that God doesn’t give us the syllabus for this class called LIFE 101. Sometimes I want that syllabus instead of the requirement that I simply show up and pay attention day after day. She understood that the course work was the day to day relationship with the teacher, not the study and scheduled tests that can be dealt with and then forgotten.
And so, as I decide whether to make resolutions that I will no doubt fail to keep this year, one thing comes to mind: Be Present. As a Catholic, I often find myself repeating the words of the Hail Mary:
Hail Mary, full of Grace
The Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women
And blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death
Amen
The first part is pure scripture, the second seeks prayerful support in the two times in our life that are certain: the present (NOW) and at the hour of death (which everyone will face). I will face Now. I will be Present in the moment, which is always. That’s a difficult challenge for someone like me that often wants to curl up in the back corner of a safe closet and let life pass on by. Today, I am reminded that someone is always praying for me Now — even if I’m curled up “safe.” Today, I am reminded that Now is truly all I have, for it will always be Now.
2009 – the Year of Now.
by Liz | Dec 29, 2008 | main
Fr. Jack got distracted by the readings, and wound up giving the homily I needed. He used the Hebrews reading which ends this way:
By faith Abraham, when put to the test, offered up Isaac,
and he who had received the promises was ready to offer
his only son,
of whom it was said,
“Through Isaac descendants shall bear your name.â€
He reasoned that God was able to raise even from the dead,
and he received Isaac back as a symbol.
(Hebrews 11:17-19)
That last verse caught him and he decided to reflect on just what Isaac was a symbol of… and after wandering through his thoughts, he came up with the thought that the symbol here referred to faith in the Giver, not based on the visible result. I’m not sure how he got there, and we didn’t record the homily. It seems that faith at one level relies on “results.” Like “I ask for this and it is granted.” Request -> Result. But Abraham went a step further by his willingness to do something whereby the desired result seemed impossible: to offer his son, the only visible way to fullfuill the promise that his descendants would number as many as the stars.
I sometimes do petition God — but, I have discovered it to be generally a better method to lay a situation in front of God and ask Her to be present. The outcome seems to work out best — often not the way I would have invisioned it – better… sometimes more painful, sometimes more joyful.
And so, when I found myself very disappointed yesterday, the homily rushed in on me — I’m still disappointed, but I rest in faith that whatever happens, it will be for the best in the long run.
Amen.
by Liz | Dec 28, 2008 | main
No day could possibly live up the expectations that so many of us put onto Christmas Day. We simply ask too much of a single day. Therefore, I have been blessed this year to celebrate at least 3 days of Christmas.
Day One: Christmas Day — mass, John and Daniel frying a turkey out back, gifts, trucking the turkey and meat dressing to my sister’s house for Christmas dinner (this is the first year my Mom has been living down here with us, and hence the first year my brother came south for Christmas instead of going north.) A very delightful Christmas.
Day Two: The next day, Marie (daughter) and Kevin (SIL) arrive… Dan’s girlfriend Shawn had made it in the evening before. Another round of gifts, sharing, and another complete Christmas dinner – this time at our house (another fried turkey). Marie and Kevin stayed until about 5 and headed back. A very delightful Christmas (again);
Day Three: My [step]brother had arrived late in the afternoon of day 2 with wife and daughter. I went and sat with them over dinner after Marie and Kevin left. But Christmas 3 was family brunch at my sister’s house on Saturday, before Stew and Co. had to head home. More food. More fellowship. More cheer. A very delightful Christmas (again).
And so, I am blessed – blessed to remember the birth of the Christchild at mass; blessed to see Christ brought to life so vividly 3 days in a row. Blessed to have the knowledge that this is a lifestyle, not just a day. Blessed with all those around me to help me see and respond to Christ in each and every one of my brothers and sisters. And blessed to be heading off to mass for the Feast of the Holy Family.
by Liz | Dec 20, 2008 | main
This morning my husband came out with an interesting take on the Angel Gabriel. Yesterday, the Gospel reading told the story of Zechariah being struck silent when he did questioned the idea that his wife Elizabeth would finally conceive and bear a child. Today, the Gospel relates the story of Gabriel bringing the message to Mary – who also, it seems aked “How could this be?” JP has concluded that Gabriel is sexist in a very subtle way: he expected less of Mary – (read “Oh, sweetheart, I know this is confusing — let me explain it to you [because I know you aren’t capable of understanding this].”
My husband is a teacher – a high school science teacher. He sees this subtle sort of discrimination in Education: the discrimination of diminished expectation: You’re not so capable, so I’ll make it easier for you. It’s not only how girls are sometimes descriminated against in school, it’s also how blacks were very subtly (or not so subtly) discriminated against — it’s a gently cloaked way of saying “You’re not good enough. I don’t expect that much of you.”
I’m not so sure I come away with that conclusion about these 2 stories. But, I also know that Scripture has a way of telling many stories in a single story. It illustrates to me just how a single story is there to reach us wherever we are. He is a successful, demanding science teacher who’s students often complain at the time and come back later to say “Thank you! I was so well prepared for the next step.”
In my reading of the 2 stories, I can see his point. But what might be there, that my spouse doesn’t pick up on is this: both responded with questions, but what was the attitude with which the question was asked? Was Zechariah curious? or did he close his heart and just refuse to even consider the possibility? Did he require the forceful hand to keep him humble and out of the way until the work was done? Was he arrogant? Would he have even listened to a further explanation? Was Mary more open and just plain curious? She was obviously troubled by the whole plan. From the outcome, it can be concluded that while she might have been a bit skeptical, she remained open to listening, open to possibility.
I suspect I’m not describing all of this with any great facility.
The third idea that comes from this is that JP giving me his insight is not only a gift of his insight, but a glimpse of what lies beneath in him. How he sees the stories lets me see where he is (something that is very difficult for him to do directly – maybe impossible). His response speaks even more about where he is than it does about the stories themselves.
And maybe that is the gift of understanding that I was meant to have.
by Liz | Dec 17, 2008 | main
Did you ever wonder?…
When you give a toddler a baby doll
Why it is that the first thing to be done
It to remove the clothes – all the clothes
Naked baby – just baby
No clothes in the way
Just baby
I wonder why?
Is it because they still remember
something we are born knowing
(and too soon forget)?
God looked at all of Creation –
and saw that it was GOOD.
