Letting go…

by | Feb 10, 2010 | main

Two weeks ago, I traded in the Miata for a far more practical, roomy Venza. I can now tote both my guitar and a passenger… I can handle more than a single passenger… it’s quiet inside (convertibles are not very quiet)… I can use my iPod in the car. And yet, despite all these good things, and the fact that nobody leaned on me to do it, the day after, I cried.

Breaking up is hard to do. Especially breaking up with a piece of yourself. My inner anguish gave me the chance to ponder: just what was I leaving behind? Why did it hurt? Just what was the problem with trading cars?

I enjoyed the relationship with my little red sports car. A Miata is not a ride that has “MOM” emblazoned down the sides. It lets you feel the road in a good way. It offers a sense of being in touch and controlling the trip. It speaks of a certain Joie de vivre! and freedom from reasonableness that I really need to be in touch with on a regular basis. So much of who I think I am is tied up in what I think others want and expect of me — I’m a wife, a mother and a grandmother, a church musician, a person who held essentially the same job for more than 25 years. My Miata let me break away from some of those expectations.

This is good to know about myself. After 2 weeks, and a day trip to Birmingham in the new ride, I’m really comfortable and pleased with it. It still feels over-large, true. But, now that I’ve had a chance to reflect on why it was so hard to move from the old to the new, I think perhaps I can keep some of myself that I found in the Miata and move on to something new without folding and feeling like I gave in to convention.

And, I no longer have a close up view of the lug nuts on an 18-wheeler as I make my daily rounds.

What’s next?

by | Jan 31, 2010 | main

I’m retiring — well, I retiring from my “day job” at Auburn. Not happening until the first of April, but it seems it’s happening. It is not lost on my friends that my first day as a retiree will be April Fool’s Day (and I have an 8 am dentist appointment, to boot.)

The questions begin: “What are you going to do?”

I have lots of answers ready at hand. I’m going to be able to go to the gym in the mornings! At 8, which might happen, instead of 5:30am,  which is not happening. I’ll be able to head up the road to Birmingham to visit more often — this is important since the 3rd grandchild is scheduled to make his/her appearance in Birmingham the first of June. I’m planning on having more energy available for my second and third jobs — mostly web development for the Vincentian Family and anybody else who would like to compensate me for the work. I’d like to actually learn to speak and understand Spanish, make the Pilgrimage to San Juan Compostela, hike parts of the Appalachian trail, spend time with my granddaughters in Florida (and go the zoo – I love zoos!), make some quilts and visit my friends in NY.

Plans! We all have them. It remains to be seen how many of these will come to pass. Mostly, I hope to live well, grow in faith and appreciate the life I have.