by Liz | Nov 20, 2008 | main
Yesterday was the first day in 3 weeks that I didn’t even think about taking something to make me feel more comfortable in the afternoon… (I had some surgery a little over 3 weeks ago). I’m off the antibiotics, and the stitches, for the most part seem to be healing. I’ve felt a little tired, and a little cranky at some point everyday. But not bad. So, if you asked me how I felt I would say “good.”
And then yesterday, I realized that I felt much better. I felt more normal. More like myself.
This is a physical sort of “feeling good.” But, it seems that I experience that in other ways – emotional and spiritual. I can go for long periods of time where I perceive that I am doing well only to have an “aha!” moment and realize that the absence of war is not peace. It is quite possible for me to turn off the war inside, refuse to feel, and go my merry way.
To be truly alive requires acknowledging both the pain and the joy – the love and hate of everyday life. It requires listening carefully to what these emotions tell me. It doesn’t allow for deadening the pain or tamping down the joy.
The same goes for my spiritual life… it’s not enough to just do the right things and say the right things and avoid saying bad words. Perhaps today I can be open to the Spirit and let her speak to me in the deepest parts of me. To allow myself to look at the good and the bad and be healed.
Then, perhaps, I can be truly alive.
by Liz | Aug 9, 2008 | main
My youngest child graduates from college this afternoon. He’ll be moving on to another city, probably on Sunday. The last chick to leave the nest – well, he’s not lived under our roof for several years, but he’s been right here in town. Change.
My oldest child is within the 2 week window of expecting his second child. They live 8 hours away, so I don’t see them nearly as much as I would like. And although their lives changed a lot in one year with a wedding and baby and a new job in a new town, it’s about to change again.
And in the middle, my daughter and her husband are in the process of moving. They both have jobs in the new location, but they still have a house to sell (Anyone looking to buy in Northport AL?), so they split their time between locations. He’s been at his new job for several months, she for about two weeks. Constant change.
And so, it was nice to sit last night, with the graduate and his girlfriend, the daughter and son-in-law, JP and myself (and the 4 dogs that are associated with all these folks) and listen to the conversation. To eat hamburgers and beer. To watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games. It was so nice to hear the banter between these “children” (who are old enough to have children of their own) share and argue a bit and just be together.
It seems maybe we did something right over the past 30 years… but, really – maybe we are just blessed through no fault of our own.
by Liz | Aug 7, 2008 | main
This afternoon it stormed. About 5, I was trying to finish up and leave the office and the power flickered a bit. I didn’t pay much attention until I got up to go. I don’t actually have windows, but there are some across the room from me, so when I turned to leave I saw a grey wall of water. Hmmm… no umbrella.
And then when I got home, I walked out back. It’s so amazing after the rain. The zinnias in my neighbors yard were so bright against the bright green leaves. The sky was still a bit grey but the color of the blooms was magnificent. A world washed clean by the rain. So shiny and alive. So bright against a still dull sky.
Some days, life is like that: bright colors standing up proud against a humdrum background. Thanks God for the flowers.
