by Liz | Jan 19, 2009 | main
I found this in my drafts — guess I forgot to hit publish… or maybe it was too close to my heart when I wrote it.
A couple of years ago, my newly married daughter and her husband apparently had an interaction that overflowed to Mom. He comes from a family where he was constantly, verbally told that he was precious and loved. She, however, it seems, did not. To be honest, when she said to me “I’ve never heard you or Dad say ‘I love you’ ” my world crashed around me. The sky fell.
After a bit of discussion (when I found my voice), she admitted that maybe I had told her that I love her when she was growing up – but she didn’t give ground on her dad. And, I made a change. In the 2 or so years since that conversation (it was a phone call), I’ve tried to never end a call with her, or her brothers, or my mom, without actually saying “I love you.” I’ve even tried it with my husband. It’s a good practice to get into — and in most of those cases, the practice now goes both ways. Hallelujah!
Actions are important, but words matter as well.
by Liz | Dec 3, 2008 | main
I know I’m late to the party — I only discovered Shrek this fall, and only then because of my granddaughter. And now, the story has caught my imagination. I watch as Fiona wrestles with the idea that the ogre might be her true form instead of the princess… that Shrek might be her true love. I identify with it.
I want to be beautiful (and slim) and healthy (and full of energy). I want to be honest, trustworthy and always full of praise for God. I want to believe that I can live up to an unrealistic, and probably not healthy ideal. Enter the Inner Ogre. The one that isn’t so perfect in the eyes of the world (or even me). The one who has a thorn in her side. The one who struggles with doing the right thing for the right reason. The one who actually might have some empathy for St. Paul when he cries out that he does what he doesn’t want to do – that he has a thorn in the flesh.
And then, it seems, that Inner Ogre is someone that is Real. Someone that feels pain and joy and sorrow and delight. Someone who is free to be — whatever she is. Not with a perfect body or perfect habits. Someone who can see the warts and green skin and love it all.
Yeah- I can love her. I can accept being her (most of the time).
by Liz | Sep 18, 2008 | main
I’ve not been in a reflective mood of late. But, Sunday, I was back at mass at St. Mary’s and, as happens on most Sundays, the homily caused me to stop and reflect.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son,
so that everyone who believes in him might not perish
but might have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world,
but that the world might be saved through him.
Fr. Jack said the homily was still in the making. He got stuck at the word “gave” and proceeded to reflect on the gift – the gift of God’s Son. But through the weekend (I was at the last english mass), he had asked for reflections from the congregation… and so the homily grew.
“It’s not fully a gift until it is received.”
“A gift doesn’t have to be a thing – sometimes it’s a comment. Sometimes it’s just letting someone know that you are thinking of them.” (that from a 15 year old).
“He gave His Son – even to the point of giving him up to death. That has to be one of the hardest things for a parent to do.” (This from an oncology nurse, who has lost a child of her own.)
But, one that hit closest to home for me was the observation that John 3:16 is followed by John 3:17 – that’s the part that gets skipped… For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world…
If Jesus didn’t condemn, I’d better be careful about my own judging and condemning. If Jesus doesn’t condemn, then when I judge others harshly and condemn them, I am not walking with Him. And, I am so good at lying to myself about the times I do that. When I am angry with someone because they didn’t live up to my hopes and expectations it seems that I try to convince myself that I am not judging. But I am. I’m holding that person up to my standards and my expectations and finding them lacking. Condemnation.
Better I should simply love them where they are. Not so easy. But definitely easier than being judge and jury.
