When I was a teenager, in the Presbyterian Church, we did a folk mass… the song for the sung homily contained the lines:
The peace of God, it is no peace, but strife closed in the sod…
Those words have haunted me ever since. What is the “peace of God”, anyway? On Epiphany, I see again that in the immortal words of Garfield (the cat) – “The truth shall set you free… but first it will make you miserable.” Ah! The peace of God brings me back to “know thyself” – and love what you find. The peace of God means letting that Light shine into those dark corners so that the beasties hiding there are forced into the light. The peace of God means making your peace with those beasties as well.
Why are we uncomfortable in the Light? Because we are not yet perfect, I guess. This is the curse described when Adam and Eve ate of the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. We see all too clearly, and not at all. And we want to hide from the Light.
I have a friend who will be moving away. That is one of those beasties in the dark corner. I’ll miss him terribly. I don’t like that. I want, selfishly, to have him remain in this place. Now, I will try to look at the situation in the Light, and see if I can rearrange my approach so that I am in favor of whatever is best for him. And remember that I mouth the words “Thy will be done” and make it more than words. Accept it as the best for all. Even me. Even for others who will miss him when he moves.
My holiness for today: mass – the time spent allowing these thoughts and feelings to bubble to the surface and be re-formed. My closest moment: “Lord, I am not worthy, but only say the words and I shall be healed”; My study: trying to write this out in a coherent fashion (not sure I succeeded in that!); My action: Still up in the air.