The express purpose of this blog is contained in the title: I’m working on a Journey to [find] Myself. Simple. Huh?
Of late, it seems that everything I pick up to read is pointing me to either “be who I is” or “know myself.” And, some days, I even believe I get a tiny glimpse. But, most days, I’m clueless. What does this mean? How does one know get to know herself? How do I get out of the judging mode? How to stop the expectations that I place on myself? Or the expectations that I think others place on me? How? I know I’ve been on this part of the circle before. The cycle of becoming aware only to lose some of that awareness once again.
I have experienced, of late, the very solid sense that I am indeed in the right spot — in a good spot. I have a very rooted feeling that I followed through with retiring from the Library at the right time, for the right reasons… or might that be better phrased — It happened at a good time for good, positive reasons. I think about my exit interview and reflecting on a change of attitude, a change in point of view concerning something. And, I remember a heartfelt response from my interviewer of “That was quite a journey.” And, yes, it was.
I’ve read a lot lately, now I must move on to practicing. I must make the time to center myself. I must find a schedule that gives me a bit of time to pray on a regular schedule. I pray — but, it seems time to try to make that a more organized pursuit. To give it a priority. Rather like the priority I’ve given my gym schedule. I go. Five days a week. Even if I don’t really feel like it at times. That has become the rule — the exceptions are the days where I must meet other obligations like staying with my daughter and granddaughter; or keeping up with Lily and Ella. Otherwise, life is scheduled with my priorities in mind.
So, it must become with prayer… and journalling.
And, then, maybe, I can begin to get a glimpse of “who I is.”