So, to day is one of those where I am bothered by the fact that forgiving just isn’t alway easy. A day where I find it easy to let the anger rise against someone who hurt someone I care about. I find that more difficult to get past than when someone hurts me directly. Really. Hurt me directly, I can generally find a way to forgive and move on. Hurt my friend or my child, and it requires a lot more work to forgive and move on.
I do so detest spending the energy on anger — the person I’m angry with isn’t a bad person. Clueless at times? Yes. Caught in the middle at times? Yes. And yet, it just jumps up from my gut and plagues me.
I’ve made the first step — the one where you sit and admit that you really are hurting and angry. I’m just not doing so good at giving that anger a good shake and setting it down. I’m not doing so good at not wanting the person I’m angry with to hurt — just a little bit. I want her to feel bad. To own the fact that it was indeed her choice that caused the hurt to someone I care about.
Onward — I’ll just have to sit with it a bit longer it seems… pray for help in letting go… ask Jesus to come sit with me and teach me to accept the hurt and transform it to love. (Yup — He’s got a big task there).