That’s what it feels like right now. We went away on vacation. But, we’ve not had too much company this summer. And then Bang! in August, I suddenly don’t have room… I feel a bit like the Innkeeper in the Nativity story. Everyone in town at once, and not enough rooms.
I have a new granddaughter! Ella was born about 1 am Saturday morning. That was joyful news to cap off a week of good news.
New babies are so totally unaware of the hope and joy they bear. They just exist, right there in the moment. A new little one, in this strange world of light and sound and touch, is just present. Free from knowing of the expectations that family, friends and the world will try to put on them. Free to be dependent on Mama. Open to being loved.
I’m looking forward to meeting baby Ella. I’m looking forward to spending a week helping out and spending time with her sister, Lily (not quite 2 years old). These new little lives, full of wonder, help me to remember to be full of wonder. They are a very real reminder that we must be as little children to enter the kingdom of God. And they example of how to do it.
Makes me want to shout “Alleluia!”
This week has brought much joy – much good news. There was a college graduation, a job offer, a contract on a house (in this market, that is cause for great joy) and the imminent arrival of a second granddaughter.
It also brought up my dispairing side. I found myself thinking – “OK – where’s the bad news? Life can’t be this good.” It seems I hold some deep-seated opinion that I am not worthy of having so many good things. I am not worthy. If there is joy in my life, sorrow must be lurking around the corner, ready to pounce.
I’ve been focusing on gratefulness. On accepting with joy the wonderful things that happen this week. Easier said than done. Even when I look back over the week, I see some frustration. The phone line was cut by the plumbers, and we had no phone or internet for 2 days. The work the plumbers were planning to do went awry.
Funny — looking back, those “bad things” just didn’t even register.
I am grateful. I am happy. I am thankful. And that’s a good space to live in.
Graduation took less than 2 hours. No guest speaker. New PhD’s hooded all together at the same time. But, every name got called, and it was streamed over the internet, so my mom got to watch Daniel cross the stage. She probably had a better view than I did. It’s done. The cap and gown turned in and the diploma picked up.
In the car going over to campus, (6 of us crammed into a Forerunner that could actually handle 5), my daughter made a comment about all 3 of them now being college grads. The tears welled up in me. Tears of pride. Tears of joy. Tears of loss. You spend their childhood preparing them to grow up and leave and have their own lives. You pray over them, yell at them, hug them and cry for and with them. You wonder if they will ever grow up!
And then they do. The chicks leave the nest under the power of their own wings. And, you cry, just a few tears, once again.
God has no grandchildren. I know that they are just as much “child of God” as I am.
Just as happens over and over again, a new day is dawning. I wonder what it will bring.
My youngest child graduates from college this afternoon. He’ll be moving on to another city, probably on Sunday. The last chick to leave the nest – well, he’s not lived under our roof for several years, but he’s been right here in town. Change.
My oldest child is within the 2 week window of expecting his second child. They live 8 hours away, so I don’t see them nearly as much as I would like. And although their lives changed a lot in one year with a wedding and baby and a new job in a new town, it’s about to change again.
And in the middle, my daughter and her husband are in the process of moving. They both have jobs in the new location, but they still have a house to sell (Anyone looking to buy in Northport AL?), so they split their time between locations. He’s been at his new job for several months, she for about two weeks. Constant change.
And so, it was nice to sit last night, with the graduate and his girlfriend, the daughter and son-in-law, JP and myself (and the 4 dogs that are associated with all these folks) and listen to the conversation. To eat hamburgers and beer. To watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympic games. It was so nice to hear the banter between these “children” (who are old enough to have children of their own) share and argue a bit and just be together.
It seems maybe we did something right over the past 30 years… but, really – maybe we are just blessed through no fault of our own.