by Liz | Jan 11, 2011 | main
In my daily movements around this side of town, I frequently pass a sign at a local church that gives me pause. Actually, to be honest, I pass the sign and I am disturbed.
It is a banner sporting a view of the back of a fellow’s [bald/shaved] head which he seems to be clutching in frustration. The sign reads “Hard questions answered here.”
I pass it and ponder. It’s all wrong to me. In frustration, I have been known to nearly shout “If God would just give me the syllabus for this course called Life, then maybe I could pass the course. Just give me a chance to study up on the answers!” So, I rather understand the desire of the man depicted on the sign. Really. I do.
Faith just doesn’t seem to work that way. Oh, there are times when I get answers. Sometimes I even like the answers, but often I’m not fond of them. But, mostly, I find that answers are not spelled out. Answers are definitely not black and white and are definitely not things that can be applied blindly to all situations. I seek answers and the answer I get most frequently is “I am the way” — which I have finally learned means — “Walk with me, and we’ll deal with everything as it comes up.” Often, the answer only leads to more questions.
It seems that so many people just want the right answer to parrot. It seems that we often want the answers fed to us instead of taking the responsibility for our own learning. I know that there are many times that it would be so much easier to just have someone tell me what is right or what to do rather than listen in the context of my own relationship with Love.
I would think far more positively if that sign read “Tough questions? We can walk/sit with you as you listen for answers.”
That sign just bugs me.
by Liz | Jan 9, 2011 | main
Some days I really am bothered by the changes that God seems intent on making in my way of seeing. It is uncomfortable to say the least.
How so? Recently I posted on my FB a comment about the cost of the death penalty — not just in dollars but in other ways. One affirming respons. Good. And then came one tearful, pained, angry response from a friend who has had 2 family members murdered and is all for the death penalty. This response led to a series of posts, with both of us digging deep. I in no way seek to minimize the pain. I mean no disrespect. I hope she knows that I will stand with her in the pain. I cannot change my stance. Really uncomfortable.
And then yesterday I read about the stupid, senseless shootings in Arizona. Six people dead including a 9 years and a federal judge, and a sitting congresswoman shot in the head. My first reaction was almost nausea. I lit a candle on the TrueMajority website. I wrote a note. I read the AP article. I found myself praying not only for the victims and their families, but also for the young man who committed these heinous acts – praying for a healing of the hurt in him, and in others who are like him — healing before something similar and equally as painful and appalling happens again. I suspect that admission is not going to win me friends and help me influence people.
But, God has not yet met with 100% success. I still harbor anger toward those who foster hateful and divisive rhetoric to advance their politics (not just the real fringies, but the T-Party and way too many Republican politicians, and Ms. Palin, just to name a few.) These are the same folks who cry out for respect for officials while fostering campaigns that encourage folks to “take aim” at others, and do so with visualizations such as gun sights. I’m still having trouble praying for those folks… even though I suppose that come under that umbrella of healing things before another tragedy occurs.
Today’s 2nd reading at mass, reminds us that God is discriminates far less than we do… it reminds us that Jesus, after His baptism, when about healing ALL those oppressed by the devil… if He did that, then, I suppose I must be open to praying for those who perpetuate these senseless crimes and those who perpetuate the attitudes that encourage others to carry out these acts.
Note: the reading is from Acts of the Apostles 10:34-38.
Peter proceeded to speak and said: Rather, in every nation whoever fears him and acts uprightly is acceptable to him. You know the word (that) he sent to the Israelites as he proclaimed peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all, what has happened all over Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached, how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the holy Spirit and power. He went about doing good and healing all those oppressed by the devil, for God was with him.
by Liz | Dec 13, 2010 | main
It’s already into the 3rd week of Advent, and I’ve not posted a thing. I’ve not settled enough at one level. But in other ways, I am very much into Advent.
I read on various blogs and other places about how we are awaiting something/someone much more developed than the Infant Jesus. And, this is true. However, for me, this year Advent seems focused on the infant and the child.
I have 3 granddaughters, aged 4 years, 2 years and 7 months. They are a source of great joy to me. And, a bit of a reminder of Advent. The baby, Genevieve, helps me to understand this expectation and hope the most (just as her cousins did 2 and 4 years ago.) I spent last week with her. Every day she becomes a bit more of herself. She explores her world. She would light up when her daddy called from Europe. She tried twelve ways to never to figure out how one gets oneself from prone or supine to sitting. She smiled, she laughed, she cried. By being there, I got to know her better. I had the chance to begin to see the little person she is becoming.
It’s rather that way with the Infant Jesus and Christmas and God the Father. You start with that infant. You put your hope in Him. You stay close and learn who he is becoming — especially who he is becoming in your own life. If you spend the time being close, you will experience the smiles, the laughter, the love, the tears. Therefore, I will stick with my images of a baby in a manger, of a new family making its way in this world, learning to trust and growing together. I am comfortable with the idea of starting at the beginning once again and walking the way once more. Maybe this segment of the journey I will learn a bit more how to trust and love and just be on the journey without understanding the map.
Oh — and, I’ll understand that you don’t always get to see the results first hand. Baby Genevieve finally pushed herself up to sitting only a few hours after I left.
by Liz | Nov 29, 2010 | main
Today is Madeleine L’Engle’s birthday. I read “A Wrinkle in Time” in the 5th grade and never forgot this author. Apparently, this most wonderful of books was turned down by 26 different publishers before it was finally published and won a Newberry Award. For me — I am so glad that publisher number 27 took a chance.
A few years ago I discovered that Madeleine L’Engle wrote more than “A Wrinkle in Time.” I went on a journey through her writings and found not only more children’s / juvenile fiction (which I read as and adult I found out about them), but I also discovered her other side — a deeply spiritual person. Who knew that the author of “A Wrinkle in Time” and it’s sequels, “A Wind at the Door” and “A Swiftly Tilting Planet” could communicate so profoundly about a time in her own life as she transistioned from wife to widow?
Anyway, I’ll pick up my copy of “Glimpses of Grace: Daily Thoughts and Reflections” and celebrate her birthday today.
Books by Madeleine L’Engle (found on Amazon)
by Liz | Nov 23, 2010 | main
My granddaughters have been here for a day or so, and I’ve watched Disney’s Aladin 3 times in less than 24 hours. If you sit through it and try to pay attention, some interesting points begin to surface. Not just the overt “Freedom” theme, but more quiet, interesting interactions.
Yes — Aladin is about freedom. Princess Jasmine wants to be free to be herself. She stands her ground in the face of rules that keep her trapped in the palace and mandate her marriage to a prince. She seeks the freedom to be herself. And the Genie wishes to be free. Genie declares that freedom is worth more than all of the magical powers he would ever possess as genie.This is a sort of freedom that I see as a gift in my life when I truly accept that I am loved by God: I get closer to being free to be myself in response to that love.
On the second or third time through the movie, I paid attention to Aladin and Abu’s trip into the Cave of Wonders to get the lamp. One rule: you can touch nothing but the lamp. Sounds a bit like Eden — don’t touch the that one tree! Abu, of course, fails the test, and touches the forbidden jewel. Poof! Everything falls apart. Aladin and Abu find themselves trapped (with the flying carpet and the lamp). The most interesting part of this is that despite the fact that Abu’s “sin” triggers the fall into the pit, Aladin never seems angry with him. Nowhere in the movie do I hear Aladin chastise or blame Abu for his failure. You’d think Aladin would yell at the monkey — at least in the darkest moments. But no — it doesn’t happen
Now, I ask — is this just fluff from a Disney kid movie or is there a lesson here? Wouldn’t it be great to live in a world where scapegoating and assigning blame don’t seem to exist? Isn’t this, in some way, a lesson from the Gospels on justice? Aladin and Abu just work toward getting things right rather than blame and vengence. Oh, my.
I could go on about Aladin believing that he had to be someone he wasn’t to win the girl only to discover that it was his true self that was loved in the end. However, I’ll let it go with this thought: there are great lessons everywhere — even in old Disney movies that you thought were all fluff.
Who knew?
by Liz | Nov 14, 2010 | main
A few days ago I set about to photoshop some images that were scanned from slides. The color didn’t seem to be balanced correctly in the scan, so I thought I’d practice color correction and more on this photograph of my father taken at my wedding. I rather like the framing — the Father of the Bride wearing a tux and a look rather like the proverbial cat who ate the canary, with stained glass windows as a part of the background. Problems erupted as I attempted to get the color of the tux correct and leave the face a normal, healthy color.
Face nice = tux all to dull. Tux correct = face ruddy, red and unappealing.
Emotions are funny creatures. As I looked seriously at the image, I realized that getting the color of the tux correct was just going to make me face reality. Anger and hatred stormed into the room. I let them stay for a while. I tried to listen to them. I realized that despite the work I have put in to try to heal my relationship with my father (who died nearly 25 years ago) I had never allowed myself to admit how deep the anger and hate went. That ruddy face, made clear in the image unleashed the storm.
I have worked on my feelings about my father — especially after his death over 20 years ago — and I thought I had made progress in healing the relationship. No, I have made progress. However, life is paradox. The more I am able to accept and forgive, the more open I must become to admitting just how painful some things are, and just how deep the effects run.
Cleaning up old photos seems to be akin to cleaning the mirror and seeing the reflection in bright light with more detail than you might want and still learning to love that reflection. It means that it somehow makes sense to be able to say: “Daddy — I hate your guts. Oh, and I love you.”
