by Liz | Apr 22, 2005 | main
I haven’t posted much lately. I’ve been on the road alot, with more to come. Not much reflection time.
I have to admit to great disappointment when Benedict XVI (the man formerly known as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger) stepped out onto the balcony on Tuesday. Like, four-letter word disappointed. As the day progressed, I became more at peace. I had to ask myself questions like “Do you really believe that the Holy Spirit is a work here? If so, rest easy.” Some things made it better: the name chosen – Benedict instead of a John Paul III. Reading about Benedict XV helped. Knowing a bit about St. Benedict helped. Surrendering to the fact that I have no control over the College of Cardinals, and that God in Her wisdom is still in ultimate control, helped. Remembering Thomas Becket and John XXIII and how they surprized people helped. Knowing that I wasn’t alone in my disappointment helped.
And so, now I am freed up to return again to looking beyond the world that presses in on me. I am ready to open up again and seek to see the face of the Creator more clearly. I am free to pray for our new pope… even free to believe that “all things work to good for those who love the Lord” – or as Julian of Norwich might say “All shall be well, And all things shall be well.”
by Liz | Apr 6, 2005 | main
Is a prophet really “in your face”? In their own time and own place, people who later are seen as prophets evoke strong negative emotions, it seems. But, isn’t the reality that we are in our own faces? Those strong, negative gut reactions are brought on by the fact that the prophet merely shows us our own faces far too clearly.
Thanks, Hugh.
by Liz | Apr 5, 2005 | main
Got in last night from 8 days in Paris. The news everywhere is that John Paul II died on Saturday night.
I spent the last week at Maison Mère – the motherhouse for the Congregation of the Mission in Paris. Vincent de Paul is enshrined over the alter in the chapel, Catherine LaBoure is around the corner at Rue du Bac. Churches on every corner, it seems… but most of the churches don’t seem to be places of worship, but shrines, state tourist attractions.
On Saturday afternoon, JP & Marie and I visited Sainte Chappelle – the stained glass is beautiful. The restoration is nice — after the revolution the church was used as for grain storage, which did some damage, to say the least. But — the windows, and the stories they tell are the best part. The windows depict books of the Bible – Genesis, Exodus (I think), Numbers, Kings, Judith, Esther, Revelation and — a window dedicated to Relics. Louis IX had some relics that he wanted honored. At any rate, as our guide was showing us how to “read” the windows, she chose Judith as one of her examples and then she moved on to mention Esther. Strong women — what were they doing in Louis’ chapel? It turns out that when Louis went off to the crusades, he left Mama as the regent. And, apparently she was pretty good at it.
So – here again, I had women from the Bible show up on my radar. They are there – how long will it take to recognize the contribution they made? The contribution they make even today?
by Liz | Mar 26, 2005 | main
I have never been comfortable with the Veneration of the Cross at Good Friday services. I’ve stayed in my pew, or walked up and done something like a brief bow before… something that would make me fit in but not require any real involvement. I’ve never been comfortable, that is, until last night. I found myself almost anxious to join the procession to the cross. I found myself down on one knee, not wanting to rise anytime soon.
I’m not sure what to make of this. So, I’m just making a note that it happened. That, for the first time in my 31 years as a member of the Roman Catholic Church, I was moved in a way that I’ve never been before. It was a prayer in the truest sense.
by Liz | Mar 25, 2005 | main
Yesterday was Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday). Last night at mass, a stranger wandered in, no shoes, raggedy jeans, flannel shirt over a T-shirt, clutching a cup holding pencils. He’s been sitting out front for an hour or so, rocking gently. OK, so I didn’t go over and check on him. I waved as I pulled into the driveway to get ready for mass. My impression was that he was sitting there, enjoying a spring evening, with a soda. That’s me. That’s what I saw.
Then he came in just after mass started. Can’t say I wasn’t a bit uneasy. I been there when other men have wandered in looking for money, food, a place to stay. They are often erratic. I head news about shootings – makes me cautious. After Fr. gave a very brief homily, this guys gets out of the pew, and walks to the front, hands the cup to the priest, turns and begins to talk. That was my most uneasy moment. Not fear of disease, not fear of physical danger… but fear that this guy would launch into a fundamentalist tyraid. That was my fear. He had a look that said to me “I’m about to hammer this papist, statue worshipping, RC bunch of pagans.” That’s not what he was meaning to portray, but that’s what I saw. I saw my own fears.
To get on with the story, he was there as a “plant” – to challenge the community. Not in the way I feared. Most of his monologue consisted of becoming the Leper touched by Jesus. He became a man who hadn’t been touched in 5 years because he was unclean. It was a powerful presentation, to say the least.
To get to the meat of the matter, I have to face my own fears. I don’t know what others saw, but I know what fears I reflected. Why did I see a fundamentalist preacher? Why did that scare me? I’m pretty good about seeing beyond alcoholism (lot’s of practice getting to that point); I’m pretty good at seeing beyond depression, HIV, physical limitations, poverty. Not great, but at least very aware that I have to see beyond those situations. But, I really have problems seeing beyond certain religious attitudes.
People who see the world as “Black and White” are a real challenge. I’m so good at saying “God is Love – God’s loves each and every one of us. We are precious in Her site.” I’m not so good at reflecting that love to those who can’t see past hard and fast laws, those who seem [to me] to sit in judgement of the rest of us who are muddling through, trying to respond to Jesus as the Way – not the church laws as the way, not codified absolute moral laws as the way. While I appreciate the WWJD bracelets (What would Jesus Do) I tend to approach it more as WWJB (what/who would Jesus BE).
And so – there’s more work to do here. I’ve been set back and told to look closely at my own judgemental self. It’s good to reflect on how far I have come toward allowing God to be the Judge, and distressing to see just how far I have yet to go. Maybe, if I face the judgement in my self head on, I can face it in others without anger and fear. If I can learn to love the “me I hide”, maybe I can learn to love the “You you hide.”
And today we relive the ultimate sacrifice – tonight we come face to face with a love so strong that it stayed on a cross. A love that said “Do what you must do, Friend.” A love that didn’t seem to jive well with those who live strictly by the rules, who clean the outside of the cup but not the inside, but loved them anyway. A love that was willing to go to Hell and back.
