by Liz | Mar 23, 2005 | main
This is Holy Week. The week where I remember that Jesus was greeted with cheers and smiles as he came into Jerusalem… and when those same people found out what He was really about, what He was going to allow to happen, they were discouraged, and hurt and angry.
Whenever I am greeted with “hosannas” I worry. I wonder what those same people will think and feel and do when they discover who I really am. And, can I hold on to who I really am? My track record there ain’t so wonderful. I’m more of a Thomas who doubts, or a Peter who rushes in so enthusiastically and then realizes that I’ve denied Truth 3 times when the cock crows.
Only 3? Well, maybe more than 3 at times.
The lesson that comes to mind is that God never seemed to give up on Peter, or Thomas for that matter. I’m not sure God gave up on Judas. Judas gave up on Judas… I listened to the Passion on Saturday evening, and I was struck at the way the words came out. “Friend, do what you have come to do.” The tone was not hateful (I’d have been hateful). The tone was one of sorrow, no doubt, but the way it was read, it was definitely sorrow. Sorrow like when someone close – a child, a friend, a spouse, really screws up royally. You can’t fix it, the consequences must be paid, but you love them through it all. And you feel sorrow.
by Liz | Mar 16, 2005 | main
and more people from the life of Jesus.
I can identify with Lazarus – how many times have I attempted to crawl into my cave and die? Or at least refuse to live? That is my first reaction to stress, or fear. Jesus has to be summoned to call me back to life.
I can identify with Mary and Martha, though not as strongly – “If You had been here, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” How many times have I wanted so badly for someone else to step in and make things right. No, to stay in place, and make sure things don’t seem to go wrong.
I know that the story is the 7th sign – the perfect sign. It prefigures the Resurrection. But, right now, I’m still at the place of being mindful – seeing the Resurrection in everyday events, in healing the darkness of sorrow and depression, in seeing plans validated and coming to fruition. And so, with apologies to great thinking theologians, I am Lazarus who must be called out of the grave to live again and walk in the sunshine. It happens over and over and over. And the belief that Jesus is the Way is the only thing that makes it possible to respond to the call.
And now, just as I do every year, I approach the ultimate time of testing that belief and having it validated: Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil… over and over and over again.
by Liz | Mar 13, 2005 | main
I’ll revisit this, I’m sure… it’s all wrapped up in Sunday’s gospel which was the story of Lazarus, from John’s gospel. It has something to do with being called back from the dead to the light of day. It has something to do with depression – that’s the real word for it, but to me it’s blackness. Not blue, BLACK.
Blue I can deal with. Blue is OK – not fun, but a challenge to discover the source of the emotion. To discover what Blue is telling me. To make changes.
Black is downright scary… I’m doing much better at listening to Black. But, Black scares me. Black makes me feel not only scared, but helpless, listless, without energy. Dead.
Which brings me ’round to the gospel. Jesus called Lazarus from the tomb to come out to the light of day – back to life. Just as I have come back to life.
Now, that was a few years ago, but I know I don’t ever want to go back into that tomb. So, I try to keep up with Blue, so that it never turns navy and never approaches Black.
I don’t understand quite why this has reared it’s head again. Thought it was all in the past. But, it seems that as I move through life, and peel the layers off of the onion that is life, I find new layers, and sometimes, I cry. Each layer that is stripped away moves me closer to the core – closer to the me that is meant to be.
by Liz | Mar 9, 2005 | main
… and other interesting characters from the life of Jesus
I’ve wondered about that woman: did she outlive 5 husbands? was she divorced 5 times (I didn’t think that would happen is Biblical times in that part of the world, but who knows)? Did folks suspect her of offing the 5 husbands? The one she’s not married to – is that because she was really burned out on marriage because of 5 previous episodes?
It seems none of those questions are relevant to the story told in John’s gospel. Fact was, Jesus knew about the circumstances, Jesus talked to her anyway, even asking her for a drink. Jesus touched her and sent her out as a missionary to talk to the men of the town. What a concept! When I feel like I’ve totally screwed things up, maybe I can be touched, healed and sent out to proclaim the Good News.
And so, I was glad that 2 Sundays ago, one of the songs we had planned was “Change Our Hearts.” Now, I knew ahead of time what the theme of the homily might be, because I knew what the readings were. But, as he so often does, [Fr.] Jack nailed it. Change our hearts, change our minds… come to know Jesus, personally. Sounds a bit Baptist instead of traditional RC doesn’t it? But, it is core to Catholic Spirituality if you get past the rules and regulations and look at the underpinnings. And, when I am healed, and changed, I have to go out and live the change.
So – last weekend I finished the shirt for JP and drove it down to the retreat house. Love is as Love does. He was very happy to get it. But, I’m dealing with some of the negative response (“You’ve had the fabric since July.”) And, I’m having to allow myself to be touched, to forgive, to be healed and to carry on.
And to think: a woman is the first missionary Jesus sent out.
by Liz | Feb 27, 2005 | main
Traditionally, there are 14 stations of the cross. The 14th station is “Christ is buried.” Some places add a 15th station: The Resurrection.
We got word this morning that our friend Nick died suddenly yesterday. I don’t know the details. I know that there is at least one group of men who go out to work (landscaping, clearing the grounds, etc) at a favorite retreat house near us in Holy Trinity, AL. Yesterday they were working there. Nick died at the 15th station.
We’ve both cried. But, somewhere in there it occurred to me “What better place to be when you move to the next stage of life than at a spot that recalls the resurrection of Jesus.”
Life is choices. Nick chose to serve God and humanity. Had he chosen differently, the day and the minute might well have been the same. But the circumstance and location would certainly have been different.
We’ll miss you Nick. We pray not only for you, but for Starr and the rest of your family – those you are related to by blood and marriage, and those who are a part of your Cursillo family, your community – your life as a whole.
